P5
TASK 1 - FEEDBACK ANALYSIS
ANALYSIS OF FEEDBACK
In my first peer feedback sheet, I developed upon all the mistakes and flaws that Dylan wrote about my script. For example, on page 2 of my script, I had put a fairly vague answer to one of the characters in a dialogue sequence which made the conversation end abruptly. I changed the dialogue from "Fair enough" to "Fair enough; its good to see that there are some decent people on this train." This shows that the character has developed a friendly relationship with another character. Other than that one dialogue flaw, the first feedback sheet complemented the rest of my script.
However, in my second peer feedback sheet, Sabina pointed out mistakes and flaws in terms of the grammar and punctuation of my script. For example, on page 1 of my script, I had wrote "He then finds his room which he then enters it." to fix this, I changed the action to "He then finds his room; he then enters it." There was another grammatical error on page 1 of my script which was me using the wrong ending of a word which was quickly fixed by adding -ly rather than an -ing on the end of the word. Additionally, with the punctuation, I changed the dialogue in page 5 to end with a question mark rather than a question mark and an exclamation mark as the exclamation mark didn't have any effect on the dialogue itself. The one thing I didn't change from the second peer feedback sheet was to change the gender of one of the main characters in my script as I thought this was give a different implication upon the audience of how I wanted to represent the character in the script.
However, in my second peer feedback sheet, Sabina pointed out mistakes and flaws in terms of the grammar and punctuation of my script. For example, on page 1 of my script, I had wrote "He then finds his room which he then enters it." to fix this, I changed the action to "He then finds his room; he then enters it." There was another grammatical error on page 1 of my script which was me using the wrong ending of a word which was quickly fixed by adding -ly rather than an -ing on the end of the word. Additionally, with the punctuation, I changed the dialogue in page 5 to end with a question mark rather than a question mark and an exclamation mark as the exclamation mark didn't have any effect on the dialogue itself. The one thing I didn't change from the second peer feedback sheet was to change the gender of one of the main characters in my script as I thought this was give a different implication upon the audience of how I wanted to represent the character in the script.
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